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Handfasting: What It Is and a Basic History

Updated: Mar 24


I. An Introduction to Handfasting and a Brief History

II. Other Pradtives You Might Want to Include in Your Ceremony

III. How to Include Other People in Your Handfasting or Do It Yourself


What is a Handfasting and Where Does it Come From?


A handfasting is a pagan commitment ceremony involving a cord wrapped around the hands of each partner and tied in an infinity knot. Handfastings date back 1000's of years. (It is said both the poet John Donne and author William Shakespeare had handfastings.) This is where the saying "tying the knot" originated from. The word "Handfasting" comes from the old Norse word handfesta, meaning to strike a bargain by joining hands. Although most used handfastings to represent a romantic bond, it can be used for friendships and also business partnerships. You can incorporate a handfasting into a traditional or non-traditional wedding and you can also perform a handfasting without a wedding. It is a very individualized and personal ceremony with many options for customization.


You also don't have to be Pagan to incorporate a handfasting into your ceremony. Unity cords are becoming very popular in modern weddings and handfasting is not a closed practice. This series of blog posts will tell you all you need to know about handfasting and why and how you might want to include this beautiful practice in your ceremony.


 

Other Historical Practices You Might Want to Include Alongside Your Handfasting


In the 19th century, handfasting began to be treated as a sort of trial marriage, lasting for a year and a day. At the end of this period, the couple could decide to continue their relationship to an actual marriage or simply go their separate ways. I have heard of couples using this tradition in place of an engagement period. You can also do this in reverse and do a handfasting as a vow renewal.

Another common Pagan practice is called "jumping the besom broom," although the practice of broom jumping has become quite secularized and used in many different weddings in different cultures. A besom is a "witch's broom" that is used for spiritual cleaning instead of purely physical chores. The besom-jumping ceremony is used to symbolize the creation of the hearth and home together. Many couples choose to make or decorate their own besom. I would love to make you one for your ceremony. It can be a simple broom made out of natural materials or one customized to match your handfasting cord or the color theme of your wedding or commitment ceremony.



 


Including Other People in Your Handfasting (Or Not)


Really, a handfasting only needs two hands. You don't even need an officiant to tie the cord for you. I've known couples who have performed their own by themselves on a romantic getaway or simply on their own back porch or in their bedroom. It is a very intimate ceremony, after all. But many couples are starting to find ways of including their friends and family in their handfasting ceremonies. There are several ways you can do this.


You can always have your friends and family help you design your cord. Other than choosing your own colors, you can also customize your cord with charms, beads, and cloth flowers.

Using heirloom materials is another great way to do this. I' was commissioned to make a chord using scraps from the bride's mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law's wedding dresses and it turned out beautifully and was sentimental for everyone involved.


During the ceremony, you can have your loved ones actually drape the cord over you and your spouse's hands and tie the knot for you, instead of including a celebrant who you may not know well or have an emotional bond with.



 

Other topics I will cover in this series are:

  • Choosing Colors for Your Handfasting Cord

  • Scripts for Your Handfasting Ceremony

  • How to Have a Pagan Handfasting When Your Family is Not Pagan

  • General FAQ


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